May

Lyrics written back in May.

Time can make more rubble out of dreams than anything / in a quiet neighborhood where she's living without wings / there's eyes behind the curtains and there's ears below the floor / cracks inside the ceiling and there's shadows at the door / how much would you give, oh how much would you pay / for just a few minutes back / of that perfect day / cause now the shattered windows are the barrier, between me and you/ that you fought for, but now you can’t live through / now I can’t live through / us / but lucky for you and lucky for me / the heart forgets so easily.

Sun beating down, an unfriendly reminder / that the snow has retired / with its snowflake tears / summer is here / but you aren’t.

The emptiness between us is fuller than the sea / thousands of floating memories / you let yourself sink in this ocean of blood / how much longer until there’s a flood?

It’s crazy, it’s not fair/ that I’m still believing / its not a safe place to put my care / but I can’t help this feeling / it’s off-limits I won’t allow  / myself to fall back in this trap, no way  / actors, take a bow / because this is just an elaborate play / tell me my involuntary smile means nothing / push me away so I’ll escape this something / these fresh lies could almost be true / but i will not allow myself to love you.

Second guessing, confused of my feelings / but even so it’s my heart you are stealing / I’d rather just play it safe / can’t be too careful, isn’t that what they say? / Cautious from a distance / I want to resist this / I’d love to love you so riskless and carefree / but that won’t work out so long as you’re not with me / cause I’ll always be scared like this / knowing everything is so hit-or-miss / because more likely than not / ill miss my only shot.

There’s nothing that comes between us / but it feels like everything / theres nothing keeping us apart / but the walls I’m imagining.

Isolated patch of roses / suffocated by the thorns / surrounded by all the noises / loud enough to wish for something more / my headphones are my only sympathy / to drown it out so endlessly / when the angry voices are here to stay / I’ll just sing the world away.

We’ve slowly rebuilt this house, after its destruction / but arson is a crime that isn’t soon forgotten / We scream and we blame / it’s a sick endless game / blinding tears make it so hard to see / have we forgotten the rules of fire safety? / oh its happened before and we didn’t look back / but here we are again and the ropes are going slack / how much farther can we go, so put to the test? / we’re all pulling different ways, now I’ve come to detest / how one single spark burns a house to the ground / too much smoke, can’t everyone slow down? / harsh words spoken out of turn / wish we could take back this fire that will burn / so much to ashes, I wish I could take back / the second that someone decided to light the match.

Bittersweet goodbyes / leaving, but not for the last time / an empty expanse of carefree days / that pull us farther and farther away